By the World’s Most Corrupt Restaurant Critic: Gene Mahoney (with Robert Brooks)


Gabriella Cafe
910 Cedar Street
Santa Cruz, CA
(831) 457-1677

www.gabriellacafe.com

I love this place. The evening I ate here was one of the most charming visits I ever had to a restaurant. And I’m not just writing that because, as you know, this column is a complete fraud... a shameless, blatant way for me and a date to get free dinner and drinks. If this was a real restaurant review I would have written the same intro.

Kimberlye Gold couldn’t make it because she had a band rehearsal, so I had to take my friend Robert Brooks. Some of you (okay, maybe one or two of you) may remember Robert from Issue 4 of the Herald (March 1999) when he wrote an essay titled “Autographs of Distinction and Valuations I Question”.

Yes -- that Robert Brooks!

I took Robert along because he’s a culinary school dropout who happens to be a fantastic chef and knows what he’s talking about -- a real epicure. Unlike me.

Remember when you were a kid and wanted to eat at a particular fast food joint and your parents always told you “NO!”, so you kept bugging the hell out of them until they finally broke down and took you just to shut you up?

Well, I do. And remember how excited you were as you finally got to run through the doors of that eatery you always wanted to go to?

That’s how I felt about Gabriella. Back in ‘96 I worked as the Santa Cruz ad rep for the San Jose Mercury News and I always thought Gabriella was one of the cutest looking restaurants I had ever seen. It’s petite (55 seats in all, indoor and out) giving it a very quaint feel. I love the pink neon sign they have out front, and the colorful mini-paper lanterns (probably made by Chinese prisoners) that adorn the windows, and the dish of crayons on each table. Oh yeah, and the handwritten menus with doodles on them. I like that, too.

Cindy Martino, the cafe’s lovely manager, greeted Robert and myself at the door. She seated us at a table next to the window facing Cedar Street, where we had a great view of a typical Santa Cruz sight -- a Volkswagon mini-bus with a picture of Jerry Garcia taped to the back window.

We were immediately served some delicious fresh foccacio bread. Robert noted that unlike some foccacio bread, it wasn’t too doughy, and had the right amount of salt. For drinks I started with a bottle of Gordon Biersch (only $3.00!) while Robert had a glass of Bonny Dune Big House White ($5.50).

Two women eating at the table next to us finished their meal and must have assumed I was with a newspaper because they suddenly introduced themselves and one of them handed me their joint business card. Their names were Tazz Powers and Paula Nunes and you can listen to The Tazz & Paula Show on the radio (KSCO 1080 AM, Tuesdays at 7pm and KKUP 91.5 FM, Thursdays at 11am). According to them it’s similar to the syndicated late night Art Bell program -- all about strange occurrences and alternative theories. Visit www.tazzandpaulashow.com for more details.

Since Kimberlye wasn’t around I got to chat up our lovely waitress, Carlie, who told us she graduated UC Santa Cruz with a B.A. in Photojournalism and has just returned from a 3 year stint in Australia. Carlie is currently writing a book on the country as she interviewed over 200 Australians -- but now she’s back in the good ole’ U.S. of A and is in love with some guy.

Hey, who am I kidding? I can’t fake it anymore. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about when it comes to dining. Now read something by a guy who does:

The Dining Scene - By Robert Brooks

What a fine meal and a grand time we had in an enchanting small restaurant named Gabriella, one block west off Pacific Garden Mall in downtown Santa Cruz. You enter Gabriella via a cozy covered patio where four or so tables are set amongst the container plants for fair weather dining. The overall charm of this place (formerly a small family town home circa the 1930’s?) strikes one immediately as both Gene and I simultaneously lamented that the person we were with was not female. It is such a romantic atmosphere (they have obviously spent time and thought creating) that it seemed a shame to waste the experience in the company of some guy you used to rent a room to (and eventually had to kick out).

Upon entering said premises, our lovely hostess/manager Cindy Martino warmly greeted us and took us to what could be considered Gabriella’s premier table, which sits in the corner under a window adorned with a string of colorful little paper lanterns (probably made by Chinese prisoners), a white table cloth, candle, a dish of Crayolas, fresh flowers, and of course oil & vinegar, salt & pepper.

Although not entirely unaccustomed to quality service, I was nonetheless surprised that the four or so other couples already there had not opted for such a nice table and that we were automatically shown to it. But then I recalled that I was in the company of Gene Mahoney, the self-proclaimed “World’s Most Corrupt Restaurant Critic”, who instead of remaining anonymous discovered long ago that you receive far better service at restaurants when they are aware that you are a “critic” and even better than better service when they have a week to prepare for your arrival.

We decided to have crostinnis as an appetizer and a spinach salad, which we regrettably split. The crostinnis ($9) were hard on the tooth, though this was no fault of the establishment, this is just the way crostinnis are. They were topped wonderfully with prosciutto, feta cheese, olives, walnuts, and a “balsamic glaze” decoratively placed on the side of the plate, which I ignorantly assumed was chocolate. The baby spinach ($8) was both simple and perfect. I don’t recommend anyone split this dish (especially with a former roommate you eventually had to kick out) -- it’s too good.

Gene could barely get three beers down before Carlie, our lovely waitress, brought our entrees. Gene had (upon my suggestion, although I had not been there before) Gabriella’s $16 signature dish: Chicken Gabriella (which reminds me of the time I was in Perth dining alone in a quaint little hole-in-the-wall restaurant and this ruddy guy I didn’t know from Adam approached me and remarked, “I wish I’d gone for that, mate!”) For it truly looked great. I ordered the Sauteed Rainbow Trout ($19) which was fine, but his was great. The Chicken Gabriella was a chicken breast sauteed in what I ignorantly thought were figs but turned out to be apricots, prunes, olives, and capers. The dish was perfectly cooked, moist tender, and served with a not cloyingly sweet orchard fruit sauce with a hint of oregano.

This restaurant is the type of eating establishment yuppie couples remember with love and nostalgia. For it is the lovely, intimate, charming, funky kind of place they enjoyed years ago while first dating. Before they copped their arrogant, materialistic TOO MUCH MONEY - NOT ENOUGH BRAINS attitude and started dining at pretentious restaurants.

Fun Facts: Some people come in just to order dessert -- the Double Chocolate Torte ($6), a flourless mocha-bittersweet torte and whipped cream. Gabriella also has a wine shop down the block at 1016 Cedar Street (831-457-1217). Gabriella is named after the owner’s daughter. The owner is Paul Cocking, who teaches drama at an Oakland high school and used to sell Jaguars (once to Goldie Hawn).

If you wish to read more by Gene Mahoney, click here!